Larry, Moe and Curley, Investment Brokers

Larry, Moe and Curley were sitting in their 

favorite restaurant just off Wall Street having 

their usual 3 martini lunch and were discussing 

the day's events and their client portfolios.

Larry:"I had 12 calls this morning 

from customers wanting to know why the 

market was going down".

Moe: What did you tell them?"

Curley: "Yeah, what", taking another 

gulp of his libation.

Larry: "You know, the usual. This is 

a normal correction and not to worry. I am 

watching your account. The market always 

comes back."

Moe: "That's the same BS I tell them."

Curley: " I have more than 300 accounts 

and I can't watch them except my 5 big 

traders. Who cares about the others anyway? 

My company won't let me tell them to sell when 

their stock starts down and they believe the old 

saw about 'hang in there for the long haul'. I 

blew out of all my stocks last week. Thank 

goodness. The market has dropped 300 points 

since then.

Moe: "It would be better for the customers 

if our company would let us tell them to use 

stop loss orders."

Larry and Moe, shouting in a single 

voice: "Don't say that or we'll get fired". They 

both bonk him on the head spilling his drink. 

"Nyuk. Nyuk."

Yes, it may sound funny, but there is 

more truth than fiction in that imaginary 

conversation.

Why don't brokerage companies tell 

their customers to sell when the market is 

declining?

There are two reasons. First any large 

brokerage does not want to get on the bad side 

of a company. That company might have a public 

offering later on and they will definitely not 

be asked to sell any of the stock or bonds. This 

is where the big money is on Wall Street. 

The second reason is they don't want the 

customer to have cash in his account. He might 

take it out. Brokers make money even if you do 

not trade. It is not much, but it does keep the 

pilot light lit.

Brokers also discourage customer stop loss 

orders because it is more paper work for them 

and then they do have to watch your account. 

Unless your account is high 6-figure or 7-figure 

you are not on the radar screen. Mr. Broker (an 

appropriate name for what he does with your 

money) has an average of 300 accounts and many 

have 600 or 700. As new guys come into their 

office they give them the little accounts.

When a broker passes his securities license 

he is given two manuals. One is SEC regulations 

that must be followed and the second is how to 

open accounts. There is no third manual on how 

to protect customers' money or trade. Brokerage 

companies want their salesmen to follow the 

company line and push certain products. There is 

no thought of customer protection.

If your broker is Larry, Moe or Curley it is 

time to find a new one.

Al Thomas' book, "If It Doesn't Go Up, Don't Buy It!" has helped thousands of people make money and keep their profits with his simple 2-step method. Read the first chapter at http://www.mutualfundmagic.com and discover why he's the man that Wall Street does not want you to know.